Chaos

I have several things I am passionate about in this life. My kids - what mother isn't? My husband, and marriage in general. The divorce rate scares, horrifies and saddens me beyond measure. (Oh there are so many other posts there!)

I've been a homeschool mom for 18 years, so that is something I am really passionate about. It is one of those no-brainers. I can't help being passionate about it, and it exudes out of my pores. Being a Christian is the same. I want you to see it in every conversation. I want to be someone others know and think - "Hey, Christians are cool people."

Homeschooling and Christianity go together for me like pb & j. We are in a Christian homeschool co-op. Our curriculum glorifies our Creator. On and on the two are tied together.

Through homeschooling I get to be around a lot of younger women. I see their struggles, their victories, their doubts and their questions. I have been there. I've been around this block more than once, ya know? We've homeschooled for 18 years. I've graduated two very different students. I've got 4 more coming up. I don't know everything about homeschooling, but I am on the other side of a lot of experiences that are common to homeschooling.

Thursday started out as a ride on the crazy train. It started Wednesday afternoon. I am on the board of a 24 family (this year) homeschool co-op. By Wednesday night 5 people were confirmed out. We were scrambling around finding subs, got it settled, went to bed before 1 a. m. for once.

I am beyond thankful that hubby is working from home this week. He helped us get out the door for co-op relatively on-time. We have over an hour drive each way. As Thursday dawned we were down 7 moms/teachers. We, the board members, were trying to figure out who should go where. It was crazy. I was driving, so my personal secretary (aka whichever kid is in the front seat) was trying to keep up and type texts for me. We were all lost in the chaos. I can't remember who is in which class. I'm asking my kids: who are your teachers? Um... the one with the yellow hair... (yeah, that helped!)

I decided to have classes sit with their teachers instead of their moms for our opening assembly - so we could see who needed a sub and who didn't.

Breathe a sigh of relief, at least we've got a plan.

I get to the church building where we meet and learn the water is off. Road construction. So while trying to figure out who is here and who is gone, who needs to go where, which moms can do what to fill in, I'm thinking about my first class, Biology. We are supposed to dissect. Yeah, that is not going to happen with no water to clean up. I have nothing else planned. The preschool teacher is doing the same thing - working her mind around her class with no water - wiping hands with wet wipes, etc. It was like a gut punch. One wave of chaos crashing after another.

It was comical, making announcements you think you will never have to make. Like about how to handle toilet paper so we don't clog the toilets when the water comes on and we DO get to flush.

From the front of the room, I'm telling my co-teacher to look up stuff while I do announcements and sort out teachers who, in the end, didn't need sorting. So many were gone that the classes each had enough teachers. Big sigh of relief!

We do our birthdays and it is time to pray and head to class. I love our morning time. I love the noise and the energy of the kids. I love the women in our group, especially. They are all strong. They adapt and handle everything thrown at them. It is seriously a joy to lead this co-op. These things go through my mind. We've disrupted their morning routine. We are facing a day without water with almost a third of our teachers gone.

It is time to pray and I'm there in the chaos and I am so thankful for how easily things worked out so far. And I'm thinking about why our numbers are so low. Moms are dealing with sickness and mental health issues and family struggles and moving. The big world is in chaos.

I am overwhelmed with thankfulness for that group. I am overwhelmed with the idea that I am there to encourage them, and to lead by example as I give up my worry and fears and chaos and live in God's peace. So that is what I prayed for. I never script my prayers, and I have no idea exactly what I said, but I knew God was with us and that he would carry us through. He always does.

After co-op someone came up to me and commented to me that I was such a good example to other moms.

I had no idea what to say. Didn't she HEAR that prayer? I was crying out because I NEED God. I am no good without him. I get flustered and my heart (and voice) breaks when I pray for what the mommas are going through. I feel weak and ineffective. I want to help, but I don't know what to do for them. What was I a good example of? Helplessness?

Oh, wait, yes, that is the point.

That - crying out and letting God's peace take over - that is what these women need to see sometimes. I'm sure they need to see confidence and strength. Had we had a plan when we walked in the door and if I'd have just given directions from the board at the beginning, we would have looked like we had it all together. Maybe.

But perhaps it is OK to show weakness. To cry out to God in front of the ones you are striving to mentor. To confess that we are flying by the seat of our pants sometimes, held up by Jesus and coffee. It is OK to be vulnerable in front of them and to show them that we need Christ.

Because they do too. And they need that example. The NOT Pinterest-ready, canned faith, Facebook and Twitter post, perfectly worded, real-life example.

I'm still struggling with how to take a compliment like that. But that is a post for tomorrow or another day.

Do you mentor other women? Do you have great mentors? Tell me about it.